There is a Russian saying, to trip twice on the same rake. You know how that goes: make a mistake over and over until you realize that you’ve been there before. You shake your head. You become annoyed and discouraged. You blame others. “I’m not stupid,” you say, “there has to be a better way.”
Over the years I’ve figured out that the thing requires persistent effort and (aha!) a three-step plan. To reduce the number of repetitions calls for awareness, reflection, and intention (and remembering another clever saying, “if at first you don’t succeed ….”)
Awareness: Yikes, what happened here? How come I got hurt/confused/screwed (again)?
Reflection: Mmmmh, I wonder why I did that (again); or What led me to behave/feel/cower that way?
Intention: I’ll be more attentive in the future, watch my reactivity, perhaps walk away — when someone presses my buttons or circumstances get the better of me.
O.k., something happened in my little world (again) to cause me to write this post, but I’ll spare the details. Instead I wonder what works for you?