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Average time spent being happy drops to 13 seconds

BERKELEY, CA—A study published in the latest issue of the Journal Of Social Sciences revealed that the amount of time spent being happy has dropped to an all-time low of 13 nonconsecutive seconds per day. “According to our data, the average [North-]American experiences a 0.8-second window of happiness upon awakening, before remembering that they’re conscious beings in a relentlessly bleak and numbing world,” said Dr. Derek Moore, lead author of the paper.

“Other periods of happiness include 1.9 seconds after a good meal; 0.6 seconds upon receiving a paycheck; 1.1 seconds following completion of a scientific study; and the 2.5 seconds approaching orgasm, just before the guilt sets in.” Researchers also recorded the smallest period of contentment yet, a 3.7-millisecond interval preceding the realization that one was experiencing happiness and that it could not possibly last.

please check the source 🙂 © www.theonion.com; image: your blogger happily helping with haying at Deacon Vale Farm on Mayne Island, BC.

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7 responses »

  1. Oh dear, that sounds sad indeed…

    Hmmm… I am above 13 seconds per day. My recommended reading to achieve this:

    Anthony Robbins, “Awaken the Giant Within”

    and

    Don Miguel Ruiz, “The Four Agreements”

    Enjoy life and BE HAPPY 🙂

    Reply
  2. okay call me perverse but I got a few seconds of happiness out of reading this. I chuckled at the ridiculousness of scientific measurement. Of course this study was done for the author’s own amusement as he watched to see how many people would actually believe it. What fun!

    Reply
  3. some of my happiest childhood moments were late summer afternoons riding high on a stack of hay bales, wobbling precariously through the fields behind an old grey tractor driven by Frank, our neighbour. We would laugh and giggle and cling onto the ropes, delirious with the smell of freshly cut hay mixed with our salty sweat, the splendid view and the tiredness that comes with hard physical work. such simple pleasures, uncomplicated lives

    Reply
  4. This study is false. Silly onion.

    Reply
  5. silly is great – and it reminded me of something i hadn’t thought of in a while. i also had a chuckle at the silly onion!! i think we take ourselves too seriously sometimes!

    Reply

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