This post has been percolating for some time; personal loss and grief have kept me from writing. In some cultures people grieve for x-number of months and years. For me it’s been three years, almost to the day. And now spring’s in the air.
The topic is sexuality. Next to death, sex must be the most tabu topic in our society. We joke about it, hint at it, and are subjected to it by advertisers who tap into its mystery. But freely talk about our feelings, attitudes, fears, and questions — that’s problematic. On teevee, at the movies, in books and magazines sexual images abound to the extent that we’ve become anesthetized. Broach the topic for sincere conversation, however, and you might as well bring up dying (and find yourself ostracized as weird and inappropriate). Why is that? Why be afraid to talk about that which is pleasurable, natural, and essentially spiritual?
Can we agree that sex is as essential to our humanity as death? And that exuality is immensely personal, situated at the very core of who we are? David Deida writes:
Our deepest nature, our true spirit, is full of love and boundless freedom. When we lose touch with our fullness, we begin to yearn for what seems to be missing. The feminine in each of us logs for deeper love and tries to find it in intimate relationship, family, or friends. The masculine is each of us struggles for great freedom and tries to achieve it through financial, creative, [competitive], or political challenges.
Yet, our life often feels dissatisfied because we are searching for a joy that can only emerge by being who we are, fully and deeply. The feminine grows spiritually by learning to live as love rather than by hoping for it. The masculine grows spiritually by learning to live as freedom rather than by struggling for it.
source: Deida, D. (2005). Finding god through sex. Boulder, CO: Sounds True, p. xiii. See: www.deida.info. image: “The Kiss” by Gustav Klimt (1862-1918), Austrian painter and illustrator.