… and today was one of them. One nightmare, then a brief rising to the surface, then another. Each to do with unfounded reprimands from someone in authority; each time my response was whiny; each time I was told to “get out of my sight!!” When I finally adjusted to the morning light, I wanted to stay hidden into the bed’s womb: tiny and flawed.
Years ago a monastic teacher suggested What am I afraid of? as my life koan. Another saw nightmares as wake-up calls; my friend Arnie describes them as demons at the dharma gates. And dear old Rumi, the Persian mystic who seems to know everything that pertains to the heart, writes:
remember the water of life
is in the dark caverns
don’t be like a big fish
stopping the life’s flow
by standing in the mouth of a creek
I have my work cut out as I stand in the mouth of life’s creek: to let the koan wash through me. Perhaps it’ll reveal another secret today; perhaps it won’t.