I’m still floating in a sea of bliss. Coming to work yesterday, I told a coworker about my numb heart (see yesterday’s post). Yet there had been no question that I had to be at hospice to be of service to others. It was an extra- busy evening: one death already and three more families standing and sitting in clusters, anticipating the death of their loved one.
While writing yesterday’s blog I resolved to compartmentalize my heart so that I’d carry personal grief in one section and opening the rest to people at work. Later, at about 8 pm, someone called me “for a quick conference.” Entering the room, I took in dimmed overhead lights and a group of nurses, counsellors, and volunteers looking in my direction. Perplexed, I assumed that they were waiting for me to lead a healing circle.
Wrong: this gathering was to be for my benefit. As we stood, holding hands, a white rose was passed from one person to the next as each in turn thanked me for my contribution and named the loss in my family. Tears flowed freely as we immersed each other in love and compassion.
As I write this the next day, I continue to feel loved and appreciated … fully present to extend my heart to others.