During the recent monastic retreat on loving kindness (metta) the question arose as to “where do love and compassion come from?” If you’d asked me at that moment, I’d have said that they come from inside of me and, beyond that, from being loved by others. Thomas Merton, in quoting St. Bernard of Clairveaux, says that “man’s nature is to love.” He’d most likely answer the question by referring to God’s love: boundless and timeless. And that all we have to do “is to get out of His way” to receive it. My ego (a.k.a. “small self”) has always seen love as something to distrust and to access according to circumstances, purpose, and preferences. (Note that none of this pertains to that other big mystery–romantic love–which, to me, throws everything into chaos anyway.)
As I regard my transformation over the last ten years from egocentric toward altruistic loving I confess that I don’t know where love comes from. It seems much too vast and mysterious to be of my own making. True, by committing myself to walk this spiritual path, I have opened myself to the possibilities of being a loving person, but it’d be arrogant to claim that I generated it on my own.
How about thinking of love (and its cousins compassion, kindness, and generosity) as a force field (as Zen teacher Chozen Bays puts it), a wellspring arising from the unknown which I am—with all humans, animals, plants—free to drink from? That this source flows continuously, without conditions and restrictions, for everyone’s benefit? And that if we wish to drink from and share with others the benefits of this well certain efforts may be necessary? And that such efforts (also known as determination, vow, or intention) would include opening our hearts and minds to the possibility of being lovable ourselves and thus capable of loving others.
Albert Einstein says that “the important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when one contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvellous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity.”
image: profile.myspace.com; to hear Thomas Merton speak on youtube, click here.
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